OP
MattWinter
Active Member
Oh, cool! We have a humor thread! Here's one of my favorites from quite a few years ago:
ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS!
Das computermachine ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mitten grabben.
Ist easy schnappen der springen werk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzensparken.
Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen.
Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keepen das cotten-pickenen hans in das pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten.
ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS!
Das computermachine ist nicht fuer gefingerpoken und mitten grabben.
Ist easy schnappen der springen werk, blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzensparken.
Ist nicht fuer gewerken bei das dumpkopfen.
Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keepen das cotten-pickenen hans in das pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das blinkenlichten.
OP
Deleted member 111282
Guest
Here's the English translation of that for anyone interested. Be aware there's still some words which didn't translate properly in DeepL (possibly due to misspellings).
ATTENTION! ALL LOOKENSPEEPERS!
The computermachine is not for fingerpoken and middle grabbing.
Is easy to grab the jumping work, blowenfusen and poppencorken with spitzensparken.
It is not for dump copying.
The rubberneck sichtseeren keepen the cotten-pickenen hans in the pockets must; relax and watchen the blinkenlicht.
MattWinter
Active Member
Hmm...maybe I told it wrong.
Condobloke
Well-Known Member
@MattWinter ....sounded just fine to me
Those "Achtung!" signs were around long before the internet. I remember that they multiplied quickly after commercial photocopy machines (Xerox) became more common in businesses. When I looked it up on Wikipedia, it says that it dates back to computer rooms in the 1950s.
For @SpongebobFan1994: I always assumed that:
For @SpongebobFan1994: I always assumed that:
- "mitten" means "hands", not "middle". (A "mitten" is a kind of glove without separated fingers, usually worn by children.)
- "dumpkopfen" means "dummies" or "fools", not "dump copying". The actual word in German is "dummkopf".
MattWinter
Active Member
If I remember right, I first came across this in an old copy of the Dictionary File late one night...probably while setting up a Lan is my bedroom 20 years ago.
I think it said the inspiration from the author was after he visited a German campus and saw signs like this, but with the Germans making fun of English. So, I think they started it!
Whoa! I had no idea it was that old. I was thinking maybe from the 70's.
OP
Deleted member 137406
Guest
If these are the only choices I choose Barney with a beer.
TNG looks constipated and unhappy probably due to being constipated.
OP
Deleted member 111282
Guest
The reason I chose those two pictures is to show intellectualism vs anti-intellectualism. Perhaps I should've chose this TNG picture instead:
tinfoil-hat
Active Member
tinfoil-hat
Active Member
I did come across a rendition of Blinkinlights back in highschool in the mid '70s. Our Computer class wasn't much more than a teletype terminal, hooked up to the local community college's main frame via the phone lines. The class got pretty popular when the students found out they could play lunar lander on it.
Just got to say I am team green (Nvidia and old amd)
OP
Deleted member 111282
Guest
Read this while imagining Willie's voice in your head. It will make it funnier.
OP
Deleted member 137406
Guest
Brickwizard
Well-Known Member
NOT strictly Linux,
OP
Deleted member 111282
Guest
Windows and Mac (a Parody of Green Eggs and Ham)
I am JohnI am Jack, the Proprietary Software Activist
That Jack, the Proprietary Software Activist
That Jack, the Proprietary Software Activist!
I do not like that Jack, the Proprietary Software Activist!
Do you like Windows and Mac?
I do not like them,
Jack, the Proprietary Software Activist
I do not like Windows and Mac
Would you like them here or there?
I do not like them here or there
I do not like them anywhere
I do not like Windows and Mac
I do not like them,
Jack, the Proprietary Software Activist
Would you like them on your phone?
Would you like them in your home?
I would not like them on my phone
I would not like them in my home
I do not like them here or there
I do not like them anywhere
I do not like Windows and Mac
I do not like them,
Jack, the Proprietary Software Activist
Would you like them in a building?
Would you like to use them to watch movies that are thrilling?
Not in a building
Not to watch movies that are thrilling
Not on my phone
Not in my home
I do not like them here or there
I do not like them anywhere
I do not like Windows and Mac
I do not like them,
Jack, the Proprietary Software Activist
Would you? Could you?
Like them in your car?
Try them! Try them!
Here they are!
I would not, I could not
Like them in my car
You may like them
I can bet on it
Would you like to use them
When creating a line of credit?
I would not, I could not
Like to use them when creating a line of credit
I would not like them in my car!
Not even for a second!
Not in a building
Not to watch movies that are thrilling
Not on my phone
Not in my home
I do not like them here or there
I do not like them anywhere
I do not like Windows and Mac
I do not like them,
Jack, the Proprietary Software Activist
The NSA! The NSA!
The NSA! The NSA!
Could you, would you?
Like them being used by the NSA?
I would not like them being used by the NSA!
I would not like to use them when creating a line of credit!
I would not like them in my car, Jack! I’m not some ignorant peasant!
I could not, would not like them in a building
I could not, would not like to use them to watch movies that are thrilling
I would not like them on my phone
I would not like them in my home
I do not like them here or there
I do not like them anywhere
I do not like Windows and Mac
I do not like them,
Jack, the Proprietary Software Activist
Say!
In a store?
Here in a store!
Would you, could you, like to use them in a store?
I could not, I would not
Like to use them in a store
Could you, would you, like them to eavesdrop on everything you say?
I could not, would not like them to eavesdrop on everything I say
I would not like them in a store
I would not like them being used by the NSA
I would not like them in my car
I would not like to use them when creating a line of credit
I do not like them, Jack! Even when I’m accessing Reddit!
I would not like them in a building
I would not like to use them to watch movies that are thrilling
I would not like them on my phone
I would not like them in my home
I do not like them here or there
I do not like them anywhere
I do not like Windows and Mac
I do not like them,
Jack, the Proprietary Software Activist
You do not like Windows and Mac?
I do not like them,
Jack, the Proprietary Software Activist
Could you, would you
Like them being used in a game console?
I could not, I would not
Like them being used in a game console
Could you, would you
Like them being used with a dongle?
I could not, I would not
Like them being used with a dongle
I could not, I would not
Like them being used with a dongle
I could not, I would not
Like them being used in a game console
I do not like them eavesdropping on everything I say
I do not like them being used by the NSA
Not in store!
Not when creating a line of credit!
Not in my car!
Quit asking me! I’ve had it!
I would not like them in a building
I would not like to use them to watch movies that are thrilling
I would not like them on my phone
I would not like them in my home
I would not like them here or there
I would not like them anywhere
I do not like Windows and Mac!
I do not like them,
Jack, the Proprietary Software Activist!
You do not like them
So you say
I’m going to take away your brain
And that will make proprietary software finally seem “sane”
Jack takes away John’s brain, and he becomes a proprietary software user
Say!
I do like Windows and Mac!
I do! I like them,
Jack, the Proprietary Software Activist!
And I would like them being used with a dongle!
And I would like them being used in a game console!
And I would like them to eavesdrop on everything I say
And I would like them being used in a store
And by the NSA
And in my car
And when creating a line of credit
In regards to my freedom,
I can forget about it!
So I will like them in a building
I will like to use them to watch movies that are thrilling
I will like them on my phone
I will like them in my home
I will like them here and there
I will like them anywhere!
I do so like
Windows and Mac!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Jack, the Proprietary Software Activist!
The End
Condobloke
Well-Known Member
From The Laughing Librarian …
1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.
4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
5. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price.
6. Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.
7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.
8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
9. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
10. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.
11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.
12. My friends and I have named our band ‘Duvet’. It’s a cover band.
13. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
14. Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c? Because you can’t see in the dark.
15. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.
16. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.
17. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.”
18. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
19. Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was staggering.
20. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
21. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
22. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.
23. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarznegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”
24. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.
25. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.
1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.
2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.
3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.
4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter? Swarm.
5. If you’re bad at haggling, you’ll end up paying the price.
6. Just so everyone’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.
7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.
8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.
9. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.
10. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.
11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.
12. My friends and I have named our band ‘Duvet’. It’s a cover band.
13. I lost my girlfriend’s audiobook, and now I’ll never hear the end of it.
14. Why is ‘dark’ spelled with a k and not c? Because you can’t see in the dark.
15. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.
16. When I told my contractor I didn’t want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.
17. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, “Oh no, not U2 again.”
18. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
19. Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person’s walk, and the result was staggering.
20. I’m trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
21. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won’t lie, it was a rocky road.
22. What do you say to comfort a friend who’s struggling with grammar? There, their, they’re.
23. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarznegger dolls are and he replied, “Aisle B, back.”
24. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.
25. I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness.
