Sherri is a Cat
Well-Known Member
The cats are having dinner right now. I accepted my social position in the home where I pay rent and utilities a long time ago. I need to vacuum. My masters don't like the sound. I'm using up some time here.
I had an organized plan for the day. Once again, my Higher Power is laughing. I was going to get up, make some coffee, wash a load of laundry, clean the floors in the home I'm allowed to live in with felines. After that, I planned to probably take a shower and then get started on that repair on the ASUS followed by a full install of Linux Mint 21.3, not 21.2.
The first thing every morning is caffeine. Four shots of espresso and steamed cream, no sugar. Something between a latte and cafe ole. Guatemala Antigua, medium roast, freshly ground beans. I was looking forward to my day. I had just finished tamping the grounds when Starla trotted in. A beautiful robin, limp in her mouth! I hate it when they bring their victims inside. I believe in the food chain, but I don't need to see that part of it. She growled, looked around for other cats and hovered over her breakfast. I asked her to please take it outside. I hurried to the living room to get my spill proof insulated coffee mug. I can throw it across the room but not lose a single drop of my precious Guatemala Antigua medium roast freshly ground coffee bean latte-cafe ole. I know, I tried it!
When I came back to clean my mug, Starla was gone. She left her breakfast in the middle of the kitchen floor, feathers scattered everywhere! I yelled to where ever it is she went to "You had to leave there? You didn't even eat it!"
With plans to put the remains in a decent place, I washed my mug in the sink. I turned back to see Spanky and Mojo batting the bird around. Not eating it! Just making sport of a poor bird that gave it's life for no purpose at all. I finished preparing my espresso. I have to stand vigil at the espresso machine. The cats try to lick the cream from the steam cup. They invariably tip the cup over. Then they jump up on the counter to feast on cream.
With espresso latte-cafe ole in hand I returned the matter of the bird. It was gone. I guess they took it outside. I went to put on a load of laundry before starting on the floors. This is when my Higher Power started playing jokes on me.
There was water all over the floor around the washing machine. I almost screamed! I just spent several agonizing days recently repairing the water lines! No shower for 3 days!!
I was relieved when I realized this time it wasn't the water lines leaking. It was the washing machine. I couldn't leave all that water on the floor. My bedroom closet is on the other side of the wall. Mold, mildew, ruined clothing! It had to be cleaned up NOW! I have to have clean clothes too. There's no way in hell I'm taking them in town to pay $3.75 for each "large load". My portable washing machine holds more laundry! So I pulled the washing machine out to figure out where it was leaking.
I started at the water line connections and made my way down to the filter checking for problems. I cleaned the filter and those stupid, useless aeraters in the water line.I dumped a couple of gallons of water in. Set it on "spin" to see if I still had a problem.
Cats. It was the cats. Someone played with the drain hose. It's not the sturdiest hose on the market. Kitty claws pierce it easily. Three places. They made holes in the hose in three different places. I found my leak, no leakS. Thank God for the all the excess plumbers tape I have and Gorilla tape. Gorilla tape fixes everything. No home should be without it.
It took four buckets of water on the spin cycle before I was satisfied that I found all the leaks. I was determined to clean the floors today. In between spin cycles, I washed the door mats. The kind I have are made of a material that is very easy to clean. They have to be cleaned often. They're durable, but not indestructible. I recently replaced them after all the cat clawing finally made them to much work to keep in one piece. Apparently the replacements aren't as well made as the first ones. One of the corners of is barely hanging on. Again, thank God for Gorilla Tape, no plumbers tape this time. Won't help anything!
I finished fixing leaks when the cats started bugging me to eat. I'm well trained. I know what happens when I don't drop everything when they want something. They'll be all up on anything I'm trying to work on. They'll gently paw at me, but they won't make use of those retractable claws they were blessed with. And they don't just paw at my legs or arms. They paw at my face! Just enough to leave tiny scratches on my sensitive skin, the kind that sting if you sweat just a little bit. "Okay! Okay! I'll get your damn food! But I'm putting it outside so I can use the vacuum cleaner!".
They refuse to eat outside. Again, my masters have me well trained. I have to wait to vacuum. If I don't wait, dry cat food will be scattered all over the floor. I don't have carpet. That means their feet slide around before gaining traction to run. That in turns means bowls of food get turned over.
Only one cat left eating. The floors will have to wait. I'll just sweep out here in the living room where I plan to fix my ASUS. As long as I don't look down, I wont' see the dirty floor. As for the rest of the house... It's dark outside. If I leave the lights off, I can pretend it's clean. I might be pissed in the morning when see the floors. How the hell did they get this dirty overnight? But I'll ignore it one more day so I can start playing with Linux Mint.
If I'm not back, it's because I had ONE MORE PROBLEM! My blood pressure probably shot so high that I had a stroke and died on the spot! Maybe then my cats will appreciate all the sacrifices I make for them when no ones around to cater to their flippant needs anymore!
I had an organized plan for the day. Once again, my Higher Power is laughing. I was going to get up, make some coffee, wash a load of laundry, clean the floors in the home I'm allowed to live in with felines. After that, I planned to probably take a shower and then get started on that repair on the ASUS followed by a full install of Linux Mint 21.3, not 21.2.
The first thing every morning is caffeine. Four shots of espresso and steamed cream, no sugar. Something between a latte and cafe ole. Guatemala Antigua, medium roast, freshly ground beans. I was looking forward to my day. I had just finished tamping the grounds when Starla trotted in. A beautiful robin, limp in her mouth! I hate it when they bring their victims inside. I believe in the food chain, but I don't need to see that part of it. She growled, looked around for other cats and hovered over her breakfast. I asked her to please take it outside. I hurried to the living room to get my spill proof insulated coffee mug. I can throw it across the room but not lose a single drop of my precious Guatemala Antigua medium roast freshly ground coffee bean latte-cafe ole. I know, I tried it!
When I came back to clean my mug, Starla was gone. She left her breakfast in the middle of the kitchen floor, feathers scattered everywhere! I yelled to where ever it is she went to "You had to leave there? You didn't even eat it!"
With plans to put the remains in a decent place, I washed my mug in the sink. I turned back to see Spanky and Mojo batting the bird around. Not eating it! Just making sport of a poor bird that gave it's life for no purpose at all. I finished preparing my espresso. I have to stand vigil at the espresso machine. The cats try to lick the cream from the steam cup. They invariably tip the cup over. Then they jump up on the counter to feast on cream.
With espresso latte-cafe ole in hand I returned the matter of the bird. It was gone. I guess they took it outside. I went to put on a load of laundry before starting on the floors. This is when my Higher Power started playing jokes on me.
There was water all over the floor around the washing machine. I almost screamed! I just spent several agonizing days recently repairing the water lines! No shower for 3 days!!
I was relieved when I realized this time it wasn't the water lines leaking. It was the washing machine. I couldn't leave all that water on the floor. My bedroom closet is on the other side of the wall. Mold, mildew, ruined clothing! It had to be cleaned up NOW! I have to have clean clothes too. There's no way in hell I'm taking them in town to pay $3.75 for each "large load". My portable washing machine holds more laundry! So I pulled the washing machine out to figure out where it was leaking.
I started at the water line connections and made my way down to the filter checking for problems. I cleaned the filter and those stupid, useless aeraters in the water line.I dumped a couple of gallons of water in. Set it on "spin" to see if I still had a problem.
Cats. It was the cats. Someone played with the drain hose. It's not the sturdiest hose on the market. Kitty claws pierce it easily. Three places. They made holes in the hose in three different places. I found my leak, no leakS. Thank God for the all the excess plumbers tape I have and Gorilla tape. Gorilla tape fixes everything. No home should be without it.
It took four buckets of water on the spin cycle before I was satisfied that I found all the leaks. I was determined to clean the floors today. In between spin cycles, I washed the door mats. The kind I have are made of a material that is very easy to clean. They have to be cleaned often. They're durable, but not indestructible. I recently replaced them after all the cat clawing finally made them to much work to keep in one piece. Apparently the replacements aren't as well made as the first ones. One of the corners of is barely hanging on. Again, thank God for Gorilla Tape, no plumbers tape this time. Won't help anything!
I finished fixing leaks when the cats started bugging me to eat. I'm well trained. I know what happens when I don't drop everything when they want something. They'll be all up on anything I'm trying to work on. They'll gently paw at me, but they won't make use of those retractable claws they were blessed with. And they don't just paw at my legs or arms. They paw at my face! Just enough to leave tiny scratches on my sensitive skin, the kind that sting if you sweat just a little bit. "Okay! Okay! I'll get your damn food! But I'm putting it outside so I can use the vacuum cleaner!".
They refuse to eat outside. Again, my masters have me well trained. I have to wait to vacuum. If I don't wait, dry cat food will be scattered all over the floor. I don't have carpet. That means their feet slide around before gaining traction to run. That in turns means bowls of food get turned over.
Only one cat left eating. The floors will have to wait. I'll just sweep out here in the living room where I plan to fix my ASUS. As long as I don't look down, I wont' see the dirty floor. As for the rest of the house... It's dark outside. If I leave the lights off, I can pretend it's clean. I might be pissed in the morning when see the floors. How the hell did they get this dirty overnight? But I'll ignore it one more day so I can start playing with Linux Mint.
If I'm not back, it's because I had ONE MORE PROBLEM! My blood pressure probably shot so high that I had a stroke and died on the spot! Maybe then my cats will appreciate all the sacrifices I make for them when no ones around to cater to their flippant needs anymore!
